VIPASSANA MEDITATION- A LANDMARK EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE

I had been reading and researching on Vipassana Meditation for more than about five years. And, I was wanting to attend a session of the meditation for quiet some time. But the fact that it takes eleven days to be totally dedicated for the same and one needs to be completely cut off, made me postpone my decision so long. My entrepreneurial, social and professional commitments will not allow me to spend these many days away from them, I thought. Earlier there was no Vipassana centre in Kerala and one had to go outside the State to attend it. Over the last two years, a centre had come up in Cheriyanadu @ Chengannur by name Dhamma Ketana. This had again kindled my urge. Finally I made up my mind to take off and attend the session beginning 18th April 2009 at Dhamma Ketana.

Dhamma Ketana is located in a small farming village at Mambra, Cheriyanadu. It has very limited facilities and whatever things are there, are of very primitive nature. The men’s dormitory (two of them) is practically an open shed with tin sheets above and has cots made of coconut wood with a thin mattress on it. The bathroom/toilet facilities (sharable) are there but again, limited and just the working type. The women’s quarters are in the main old building which was originally there when the land was bought for the centre. The Dhamma Hall, the main meditation centre, though newly built, is again just basic and essential in nature with scope for real improvement. The dining hall is small and the rules were that of self service and self wash. Incidentally the course is conducted for free and if any participant wants to pay, he/she could donate the money at the end of it. Lack of finance in running the centre was evident in its appearance.

But the axiom that quality needs no facility was evident from the number of participants who had turned out to attend the course. There were forty of us. From the age group between seventy five at the higher end and seventeen at the lower! It had twelve women and twenty eight men in it. Five of them were foreigners (Two from Switzerland, one each from France, Italy and Germany – two women and three men in all). There were students, house holders, home makers, professionals, entrepreneurs, artists – the guy from France was a sculptor and the man from Trichur, a Malayalam play back singer-, NRIs (three of them working in the Middle East, one flew in just to attend the course!), five Christian priests of different denominations, two Muslim men- one a Hajji, but who left after five days of meditation - and a swami (Swamy Gynodayan, a Hindu Sanyasin who has changed to become Christian evangelist – author of three books on spirituality but a little controversial because of his ardent belief that Jesus Holy Christ is the son of Shiva, the Hindu God-). Indeed a heterogeneous crowd; all pulled in from distant parts of the world by the need to undergo the meditation. I was genuinely impressed, to say the least.

Fundamentally, Vipassana Meditation was invented and taught by Gautama – the Buddha. Born in 624 BC, this Prince turned ascetic attained Nirvana at the age of thirty five after 6 years of wandering, learning, penance and meditation and lived up to the ripe age of eighty to teach the world Dharma, Sangha and of Liberation through enlightenment (Buddha). Vipassana differs from other forms of meditation (there are plenty; from different schools of thought and religions) from the point of view of its conduct. It conditions the mind through meditational awareness and equanimity (on equal strength), relying mainly on normal breathing practice. The principle is that by being aware with an equanimous mind, one can identify and recognize the sensations happening in the body, well before one actually commits a mental act from which the vocal act and the physical act further germinate. Thus by understanding the fact that the sensations and the reactions to it (samkharas) are very ephemeral and momentary – it just arises and withers away-, one realizes the impermanent nature of the same (ANICCA- anitya) and of the life that follows the act (karma). This will further strengthen the equanimity of the mind and allow it to reach the stage of wisdom (PANNA – Prgya – Prajna). With this wisdom, one can see things as it is and not as what one wants it to be. The trueness of anything gets revealed without one applying any thought or emotion on it and that stage of wisdom liberates the mind and one attains bliss and tranquility, full of love and compassion. By doing Vipassana not only one can stop generating fresh defilements to the mind but also remove the impurities that were stored in it the form of the thoughts/actions of the past. The universality of Vipassana lies in the fact that it does not want the meditator to believe in any God, person, dogma, religion or sectarianism to practice the same. Just breath in and breath out and later, be aware of the sensations happening in the body with an un-affected mind.

For the last forty nine years of my existence, I do not remember being silent for more than half an hour. It is generally felt by friends and acquaintances that I am an adhika prassangi (one who speaks in excess). Imagine how difficult it is for a person like me to be in silence for more than 10 days! But this is what I did during the whole of Vipassana practice. Yes, it requires the meditator to enter into noble silence for the first 10 days and he is not allowed to communicate with co-meditiators and others even by body language or gestures. So for close to eleven days, I did not exist to the outside world. My mobile phone went dead and I became inaccessible even to my dear wife and children. (Over the twenty plus years of our married life, there had not been one instance of me not talking to my wife every day, barring this!)

All comfort zones were taken away during this meditation period. Firstly, it was a hot weather and throughout, one felt the intense heat and the resulting sweat making it worse further. One needed to get up @ four AM (the bell would ring sharp every time) to get ready and to start the meditation by four thirty AM. Meditation is done by sitting cross legged (Padmasana, or ardha padmasana for those who can not sit in padmasana) for hours together. There is eleven hours of meditation and one and half hour of discourse (again being seated) every day. The breakfast is at six thirty AM and lunch by eleven. Both are vegetarian and basically frugal. There is no Dinner at all. At five in the evening there is tea for new meditators (the old meditators if any – we had seven of them – take nothing but water). There is totally about four hours of rest per day around breakfast, lunch and tea. The day ends at nine thirty PM and one hits the bed, again to start the whole process the next day, all over. On the tenth day by noon one breaks the silence. Even if one does, the silence actually lingers on because the meditations continue for that day and for the next.

Having known Vipassana for long, initially I wanted to do it @ Igat Puri, Nashik, Maharashtra which is the head quarters of Vipassana Research Institute started by Sayagi S N Goenka. Goenka was born and brought up in Burma (now Myanmar) and belonged to a rich Hindu business family. He came across Vipassana by chance but took it like fish in water. His teacher Sayagi U Ba Khin advised him to go to India to reinstate the practice in the country where it all began, twenty five centuries ago. Today Vipassana movement set up by Sayagi SN Goenka had spread across the Globe with about hundred plus centers located in most of the leading nations. Having read his writings and heard his speeches, I was very highly impressed and actually wanted to be taught by him. Having selected Dahmma Ketana @ Cheriynadu I knew I would not get this privilege. But lo and behold, which ever centre you undergo the Vipassana training, it is taught by Sayagi SN Goenka only, through his voice over audio and video tapes. Actually you never miss him and feel his complete presence throughout the days.

What was my experience? My objective of the undergoing the training was to manage and control my emotions (which I had plenty and my expressions of negative emotions are nothing to write home about) and to become a better person. I never looked for miracles to happen while doing the practice. As per S N Goenka, if one does it with full dedication and attention, by the tenth day, she/he will feel the vibrations in her/his kalapas, the smallest sub atomic denomination of the body. This stage is called Bhang gyan, the height of Vipassana learning. Obviously this did not happen to me. But my mind has become very sharp and so too my concentration. I could continue being in thoughtless state just listening to the sensations in the body for a good period of time (a great achievement considering the fact that my mind was always full of thoughts and emotions and that was continually on the increase). I could recognize the pleasurable and painful sensations without going under it. I could realize the changing nature of my sensations (its impermanence of arising and withering away). During the in between periods of rest, I could look at so many actions of my past and find the incorrectness of the same (and to understand the folly in those actions). My views on many of my so called detractors and enemies had mellowed tremendously. I am able to chart out positive thoughts on my future.

And more than anything else, now I know what could I do, when I start going under my intense negative emotions.

Summing up, I must confess that Vipassana meditation training was a milestone experience of my life. The goodness that I got from it, I must continue to consolidate for the rest of my life and for that, I must continue to meditate everyday. Will be it be a tall order? Only time can tell.