During my days of employment, I had come across Ms.Ragini Gupta, a smart, conscientious, industrious and caring girl in the marcom dept’ of the company that I worked. In spite of these qualities, she never got invited to parties and get-togethers conducted by her friends and colleagues. When checked, I was told that Ragini had a fiery temper and she was an angry young woman. Nobody wanted deal with her and be with her. Such a caring an industrious girl but got isolated due to her negative emotions!
The other day my wife told me the story of her neighbour Anand Menon, a gifted kid, creative and intelligent. He was such a dream child and every mother wanted him to be her son. But late in life, she found Anand making a living out of repairing electrical appliances in his apartments. What happened, she enquired. She was told that Anand snapped when his father walked out of his house when he was 15.
In my brother’s company there was this brilliant accountant, Ajit Kumar who had an IQ 0f 160+. But whenever promotion came, he was passed over. I asked why. My brother replied that Ajit never cared for others. He is such a selfish fellow that nobody had sympathy for him.
In all these cases, you will notice that the person’s downfall was due to the negative emotions pocessed and expressed by him/her.
What are the negative emotions that are so powerful enough to block the progress of one’s life and career? Fear, anger, rage, jealousy, frustration, sadness, anxiety, depression etc are some of them. These extreme emotions when taken into the head result in spontaneous, irrational decisions and actions that mess up one’s life. Because negative emotions produces negative words and deeds, it dearly affects interpersonal relationship and the social fabric and therefore, it calls for managing negative emotions.
Most of the time, instead of managing the extreme emotions, we try to suppress them.
Suppressed emotions manifest later in life in the form of health challenges such as migraine, asthma, palpitations, BP, ulcer, arthritis, depression, mental aberrations etc. And these are extremely dangerous for one’s health.
Earlier in organizations, in the selection process, intelligence quotient (IQ) was given high consideration. IQ, which is cognitive in nature, is tested through problem solving abilities, logical and analytical skills and is not connected to any social and emotional aspects and therefore do not help individuals in managing people.
David Wechsler, the famous American psychologist, gives the best definition of intelligence. He says intelligence the aggregate capacity of an individual to act purposefully, think rationally and deal effectively with his environment. Not only on IQ (cognitive abilities), Wechsler says that a person must be evaluated based on his/her non-cognitive abilities too.
In the cases of Ragini Gupta, Anand Menon and Ajit Kumar, one could surmise that while IQ is important, what makes one successful with people, group and organizations is the emotional balance that one apply in trying situations. Thus we come to the importance of emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence is defined as a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.
How do we manage with our negative emotions?
Before we go into it, we must have emotional self-awareness. This is about recognizing one’s own feelings and seeing how they impact one’s performance. This leads to an accurate self-assessment of recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses. The assessment will boost one’s self-confidence. Through studies, it was proved that accurate self-assessment is a hallmark of superior performance. Once we are self-aware, we can deal with our emotions.
After being self-aware, we should start understanding the social awareness too. That needs empathy. Empathy makes us understand other’s emotions. This will give us a service orientation to recognize other’s un-stated needs and concerns and the ability to read undercurrents of emotion and political realities of a group.
Once we are self-aware and socially aware, then we can get into the management of the emotions. This is achieved through applying emotional self-control, showing adaptability, having self-initiative, attending to responsibilities, by striving to improve oneself and by displaying trustworthiness to others.
Management of emotions in social domain is all about relationship management. This is done through developing others, communicating, resolving conflicts, practicing team work and collaboration competencies at group level and by showing leadership abilities (motivating, influencing, inspiring etc),
How do we achieve emotional wisdom?
We need to understand that emotions play a major role in our head. This definitely could mess up our words and deeds. So, instead of allowing emotions to go to the head, take it on your body. This can convert emotional feelings to physical sensations on the body that would not impact on the thoughts. How true is the Chinese proverb when it says that you cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair.
To take the impact of emotions on our body, we must have a healthy body lest the body would be affected and that would result in our health going down. It is therefore important to care for one’s body. Physical fitness can reduce the impact of emotions on the body. To acquire emotional wisdom, keeping the body fit is absolutely important.
We should build upon the emotional muscle every day by taking time to focus on emotional experiences. Slowly we should go through the emotions that we feel and by doing so, we must master them. Practicing is the key. It is something similar to swimming. The more you swim and learn, the better the swimmer you are!
We should be accepting of all that we feel. Neither should we suppress our emotions nor, reject it.
By opening your heart to others, you can apply the empathy in social interactions. When you take action, do those things that make you feel useful and relevant in the society.
Forever, create an attitude of gratitude in you. We should be thankful to the world and its inhabitants for making our life worth living.
Applying humour in words and deeds can help increase our emotional wisdom. A person with the highest EQ (emotional quotient) is the one who has the ability to laugh at himself without inhibition and shame.
Examples
US Navy study reveals that most effective leaders were warmer, outgoing, emotionally expressive, dramatic and sociable.
Study in retail segment had found that a store managers’ ability to manage feelings and stress of his sub-ordinates is directly related to net profit, sales per sq ft, sales per employee etc.
A survey of buyers found that apparel sales reps were valued primarily for their empathy. The buyers reported that they wanted reps who could listen and understand what they wanted.
In a research at an insurance major, it was observed that new salesman who were optimists sold 37% more insurance in their first 2 years than did pessimists. When the company hired a special group of individuals who scored high on optimism but failed the normal screening, they outsold the pessimists by 21% in the first year and 57% in the second year.
Research in leadership reveals that almost 90% of success in leadership is attributable to EQ.
Conclusion
The importance of emotional intelligence in people management and situation management is extremely high. Application of EQ had given better turnover and higher profitability to companies. Leaders with high EQ are much more successful than the rest. It is felt that in every field, EQ is two times as important as the cognitive abilities. Based on the cornerstones of empathy and optimism, EQ has come to be identified as the winning intelligence.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
THE MEN Vs. WOMEN ISSUE
Here is an eternal unresolved issue. Many had attempted to address it and nobody could ever conclude it, to the satisfaction of both parties. From time to time, this continues to come up. Plenty of ink, paper, energy and time had been wasted on the issue.
I am not a chauvinist. I respect women. I like them a lot. I believe women are the best creation of God.
The Creator is indeed very smart. He proves the advait (non dual) using the dvait (dual). When man and woman combine, fullness results. ‘One’ forms out of two. Similar to Puruksha and Prakruti, the Ying and the Yang and the Raga and the Tala, the two combine to form the real complete one.
Woman is the seat of creation. That gives solemn divinity to her. She is the Devi on whose womb life is formed and from it, delivered. She is the mother, the eternal ‘Amma”.
Who is great, man or woman? I believe men have more strength than women. In every field where physical strength matters, we see men deliver more than women. Feature by feature men are strong (and of course, they are coarse) whereas, feminity manifests in women. Beauty lies truly in women. Both men and women accept that.
Women have real patience (Kshamaya dharitri - as patient as mother Earth) Women do more Karma than men. They have the ability of multitasking. They have higher longevity (for doing still more Karma, may be). They do not complicate thought process. They can filter out the unwanted thoughts better than men. Men call this wonderful ability of women as ‘one-dimensional’.
Men are lazy and proud, in spite of the ability and strength to do more and big. Men have complicated thought process. They have no patience and get irritated very fast. They refuse to adjust with reality, many times. Many often, men go about humbling the women. It is a hobby they enjoy.
Women can live without men, if need be. For men, it is unthinkable. The most pathetic site we see is an old man struggling to live when he loses his wife. Vice versa, it is not all that bad. Women simply adjust.
Men live for women. Women are almost the raison d’etre for men. But will they ever accept it? That is where his pride sticks out. Men say ‘it is below man’ to accept that. Now, what is that?
In spite of all those good qualities going for them, women are willing to be subjugated. Men take full advantage of that. That is the sore thumb of every society, every religion.
Having said all these, one feels that, similar to the river seeking and finding salvation in the sea, woman attains ‘poornata’ (completeness) only after she finds her man and merges with him (something the feminists are unwilling to accept). It is where the strength and the suppleness combine, where unity gets created. And the oneness happens.
To that, let us say three cheers!
I am not a chauvinist. I respect women. I like them a lot. I believe women are the best creation of God.
The Creator is indeed very smart. He proves the advait (non dual) using the dvait (dual). When man and woman combine, fullness results. ‘One’ forms out of two. Similar to Puruksha and Prakruti, the Ying and the Yang and the Raga and the Tala, the two combine to form the real complete one.
Woman is the seat of creation. That gives solemn divinity to her. She is the Devi on whose womb life is formed and from it, delivered. She is the mother, the eternal ‘Amma”.
Who is great, man or woman? I believe men have more strength than women. In every field where physical strength matters, we see men deliver more than women. Feature by feature men are strong (and of course, they are coarse) whereas, feminity manifests in women. Beauty lies truly in women. Both men and women accept that.
Women have real patience (Kshamaya dharitri - as patient as mother Earth) Women do more Karma than men. They have the ability of multitasking. They have higher longevity (for doing still more Karma, may be). They do not complicate thought process. They can filter out the unwanted thoughts better than men. Men call this wonderful ability of women as ‘one-dimensional’.
Men are lazy and proud, in spite of the ability and strength to do more and big. Men have complicated thought process. They have no patience and get irritated very fast. They refuse to adjust with reality, many times. Many often, men go about humbling the women. It is a hobby they enjoy.
Women can live without men, if need be. For men, it is unthinkable. The most pathetic site we see is an old man struggling to live when he loses his wife. Vice versa, it is not all that bad. Women simply adjust.
Men live for women. Women are almost the raison d’etre for men. But will they ever accept it? That is where his pride sticks out. Men say ‘it is below man’ to accept that. Now, what is that?
In spite of all those good qualities going for them, women are willing to be subjugated. Men take full advantage of that. That is the sore thumb of every society, every religion.
Having said all these, one feels that, similar to the river seeking and finding salvation in the sea, woman attains ‘poornata’ (completeness) only after she finds her man and merges with him (something the feminists are unwilling to accept). It is where the strength and the suppleness combine, where unity gets created. And the oneness happens.
To that, let us say three cheers!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
THE NECESSITY OF INCLUSIVITY
“India is rocking”. That is the general perception maintained by the literate Indian, the middle class Indian, the entrepreneurial Indian and the non-resident Indian and so many Indians having similar thought processes. The eyes of the world are on India. We are consistently growing @ 8.7% average over the last 10 years. We are the second fastest growing economy of the world. High tech and IT I have been identified as Indian competencies. We have the largest number of youth in the world. India has so many good things going for her.
Is this the reality? Does anyone have a difference of opinion?
Some of the facts that are being published by NGOs openly and by intelligence agencies secretly, are very revealing. You would be surprised to learn that more than twenty percent of about 600 odd districts in India had turned RED already. To be specific, around 130 districts in the country spread in many states as Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, Orissa, Chattisgarh, Jharkhand, Bihar, Bengal and parts of UP are heavily under the influence of extreme Maoism. Originated as Naxalbari movement some four decades back by Charu Majumdar, Kanu Sanyal and comrades, the movement had spread its wings to the interior villages of India and Nepal. In these districts, these people are taking law into their hands. They are brutally killing anyone who is resisting them; they create fear psychosis amongst public. In many places in Orissa and Chattisgarh, the state administration has come to cease, with Maoists taking the controls.
The rich and the famous do not know this. They do not want to know, is closer to the truth. For them, India is rocking, economy is booming, fashion is spreading, consumer indulgence is peaking, they are frolicking and are moving up and up.
Every country has some people living in poverty. But in India, we have 300 million people who live well below the our own definition of poverty (Whereas internationally a BPL household is defined as one with less than 1 Dollar per day income, in India it is even smaller an amount. Here it is an earning of ten Rupees a day). Opportunities to these people are really lacking. The middle class and the rich hoard the opportunities. And that make them richer and richer and the chasm between rich and the poor is increasing further. Lack of Democratic governance gives the manure to corruption, nepotism and favoritism. The dalits, the tribal and the minority are marginalized in the process. More Nandigrams occur, more farmers commit suicide, more dalit women get raped and more villagers die of dreaded diseases due to lack of medical facilities.
On budget days, every finance minister of the States and Center, with populist offers, plays to the gallery, by announcing this and that yojanas, amounting to billions of Rupees, meant exclusively for the poor. But it hardly reaches the poor, and in the name of the poor, the corrupt politicians and greedy middlemen amass all that. Is there a monitoring system available to ensure that the provisions made in budgets reach to whom it is targeted for? And, if it is really reaching the poor, the downtrodden and the minorities, then why do they take to the arms?
Politicians and leaders use the word inclusivity, started originally by welfare economists such as Amartya Sen, as a mere lip service. In fact the inclusivity was never there, both economically or socially. The dalits are dalits, the poor turn poorer and caste ism continues to be at the core. So what is the aftermath? More and more Maoists get formed across villages and districts. More terrorism, more killing, more administration paralyzing will continue to occur all over. When it reaches the critical mass (has it not reached yet? Twenty percent is not a small number, mind you), emergencies and curfews would get declared, police and army will roll in to the streets, guerrilla warfare will get started and anarchy would come into being. Economic progress would get arrested for good and the country will go to dogs. There are plenty of similar examples, even in our neighbourhood.
Proactive measures are much better than reactive measures. The opinion of inclusivity must gain more and more momentum. It must spread something akin to what is happening to the messages of global warming throughout the world. People should stand up and take notice. Democratic governance must come into being. Corruption must be put down and if governments want to take stern action against the corrupt and the nepotic, it must be done, of course, without looking at the faces.
Friends, inclusivity is a necessity now. If we do not do it now, we will have a big price to pay, in about 5 to 10 years. This is a choice that we all have to make. The sooner it is, the better.
Is this the reality? Does anyone have a difference of opinion?
Some of the facts that are being published by NGOs openly and by intelligence agencies secretly, are very revealing. You would be surprised to learn that more than twenty percent of about 600 odd districts in India had turned RED already. To be specific, around 130 districts in the country spread in many states as Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, Orissa, Chattisgarh, Jharkhand, Bihar, Bengal and parts of UP are heavily under the influence of extreme Maoism. Originated as Naxalbari movement some four decades back by Charu Majumdar, Kanu Sanyal and comrades, the movement had spread its wings to the interior villages of India and Nepal. In these districts, these people are taking law into their hands. They are brutally killing anyone who is resisting them; they create fear psychosis amongst public. In many places in Orissa and Chattisgarh, the state administration has come to cease, with Maoists taking the controls.
The rich and the famous do not know this. They do not want to know, is closer to the truth. For them, India is rocking, economy is booming, fashion is spreading, consumer indulgence is peaking, they are frolicking and are moving up and up.
Every country has some people living in poverty. But in India, we have 300 million people who live well below the our own definition of poverty (Whereas internationally a BPL household is defined as one with less than 1 Dollar per day income, in India it is even smaller an amount. Here it is an earning of ten Rupees a day). Opportunities to these people are really lacking. The middle class and the rich hoard the opportunities. And that make them richer and richer and the chasm between rich and the poor is increasing further. Lack of Democratic governance gives the manure to corruption, nepotism and favoritism. The dalits, the tribal and the minority are marginalized in the process. More Nandigrams occur, more farmers commit suicide, more dalit women get raped and more villagers die of dreaded diseases due to lack of medical facilities.
On budget days, every finance minister of the States and Center, with populist offers, plays to the gallery, by announcing this and that yojanas, amounting to billions of Rupees, meant exclusively for the poor. But it hardly reaches the poor, and in the name of the poor, the corrupt politicians and greedy middlemen amass all that. Is there a monitoring system available to ensure that the provisions made in budgets reach to whom it is targeted for? And, if it is really reaching the poor, the downtrodden and the minorities, then why do they take to the arms?
Politicians and leaders use the word inclusivity, started originally by welfare economists such as Amartya Sen, as a mere lip service. In fact the inclusivity was never there, both economically or socially. The dalits are dalits, the poor turn poorer and caste ism continues to be at the core. So what is the aftermath? More and more Maoists get formed across villages and districts. More terrorism, more killing, more administration paralyzing will continue to occur all over. When it reaches the critical mass (has it not reached yet? Twenty percent is not a small number, mind you), emergencies and curfews would get declared, police and army will roll in to the streets, guerrilla warfare will get started and anarchy would come into being. Economic progress would get arrested for good and the country will go to dogs. There are plenty of similar examples, even in our neighbourhood.
Proactive measures are much better than reactive measures. The opinion of inclusivity must gain more and more momentum. It must spread something akin to what is happening to the messages of global warming throughout the world. People should stand up and take notice. Democratic governance must come into being. Corruption must be put down and if governments want to take stern action against the corrupt and the nepotic, it must be done, of course, without looking at the faces.
Friends, inclusivity is a necessity now. If we do not do it now, we will have a big price to pay, in about 5 to 10 years. This is a choice that we all have to make. The sooner it is, the better.
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